HOW SIMON BARRETT GOT HIS NICKNAME "WALLY"

By Don Stevens

Why Simon Barrett got his Nickname & Don Stevens appeared in court, this was all due to Simon Barrett, thats why I named him 'Wally' because he was the cause of our downfall. When our tender left The Lady after bringing out the new staff, we discovered, to our joy that the tender had come from Harwich and not Boulogne so we knew we would be home for tea (Simon's wish, I wanted home for a coffee) and would not have to negotiate Customs and Immigration ... woo hoo...I was sooooo happy.

We boarded the tender and landed at Harwich, early morning about 6.30am or 7.30am and the boat skipper tells us not to forget to check in with the Customs, the Customs office was closed, we could see that from the boat, but he showed no interest in taking us there.

I got off the boat, dragged my suitcase off, helped Simon with his luggage and I began to walk very firmly toward the railway station. Simon, meanwhile, stands looking at my departure and says we should not forget to report in to Customs. One may insert the appropriate reply I gave Simon, I was amazed at his behavior. No amount of persuasion would move him, so I made for the station, a train was due to leave for Fenchurch Street within the hour and I was going to be on it.

Simon went God knows where, but after I was on the platform for half an hour, a bunch of uniformed and two plain clothes officers turned up at the station and took me to the police and customs post.

Simon, whom I then named "Wally" was present looking shocked.. .........sheesh....and we both had to open our luggage. You'll all love this ... my luggage was my belongings and a couple of my albums .... Simons luggage caused an outcry from the officers .... it was full of contraband, God, I laughed so much, the berk wanted to be all legal and his case was full of hardcore porn magazines, records off the ship, tapes of jingles and airchecks, you name it, the fool had it.

They confiscated all his stuff, I kept my belongings, they checked my passport, I said I was a journalist covering a story about Caroline, my occupation in my passport indicated 'engineer' so that was me stuffed.

We eventually got the train, got to London and met up with Simon's girl friend and my wife. Simon's girl friend was livid at what he had done, she did not find out about the porn, the whole thing was a fiasco.

Tony Allan and Peter Chicago resting in the mess room (Photo:- Hans Knot)

Simon was a real twit, he got Tony Allen a beating from the French police in Boulogne Castle when he let slip that Tony understood French, we had denied all knowledge of French so the cops spoke freely in front of us and Tony was able to suss out the situation. We got interviewed individually by the cops, and somehow Simon in his usual panic let slip that tit bit.... poor old Tony ... he did look rough. Thats why Tony did not board the ship with us in February 1975, he gave me all the money, spanked Simon in Brussels and cleared off to Amsterdam, so I had to get us out to the ship. Then we stayed on the ship so long I ended up presenting about 239 hours of shows, not too mention the live Radio Mi Amigo show I did in 'idiot Flemish' every hour between 6 and 7am, thanks to the Captain and Peter van Dam, they made me phonetic scripts to read, worked ok as I could do the gutteral 'CH' sound.

When my good friend Phil Mitchell wanted to get on Caroline and Oonagh was telling me to get ready to go back out with Simon I was not amused, Tony Allen was by this time back in England, I was working for Caroline with Keith Ashton and Chicago sourcing kit,' and the idea of going out with Wally was not on. For my sins I recommended Phil and Kelvin, both good friends at that time, and off they went, Phil Mitchells wife really hated me for doing that to her, Ronan never paid Phil his money, or so she said. Oonagh paid my wife Ann every week in cash, Ann would go to Paulton Sq in Chelsea, and the money was there, though Ronan did say to me that my wife was a pain in the ass with her insistence upon prompt payment, but we had my daughter Tracy to feed-boom boom.

By Don Stevens Ex-Radio Caroline & Ex-Voice of Peace.